she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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