Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize