Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
