My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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