I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
