weddingsv make me drug and hornr
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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