my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
