How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
how drunk are you?
Several
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
