oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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