i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
