8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
smell my finger.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
