What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
