If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
