Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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