Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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