Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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