Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
