tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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