I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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