Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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