Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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