Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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