Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
