ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
