I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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