if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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