IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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