she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
