pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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