they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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