The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
