Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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