I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
