just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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