What a fucking waste of an outfit
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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