great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
