The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
