Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
