Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
