The best revenge is premature balding
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
