Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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