A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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