I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
