you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
