Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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