Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
