Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
