He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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