so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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