At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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