I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
