You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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