I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
