shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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