just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
