oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
