I hate your face
We named our party play list daddy issues
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
