She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
