Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
