So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
