How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
