It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
