This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
