I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
