I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
