I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
