just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
