do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
